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Joke of the Day

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Dont talk to the middle leg he is a dick."

"Our Faults ""Once a friend of mine and I agreed that it would be helpful for each of us to tell the other all our faults"" ""How did it work ?"" ""We haven't spoken for five years""."

"So two muffins are in an oven And on says, ""Gee, it's really hot in here."" And the other muffin says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING A MUFFIN!"""

"The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!"

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"*Husband using Ouija board after I've died* Please answer me *arrow moves* ""It's on the top shelf. Right there. RIGHT THERE! Use your eyes!"""

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"EVERY SENTIENT & NON-SENTIENT CONGLOMERATION OF MOLECULES ON THIS EARTH HAS A BF. WTF."