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Joke of the Day

"What did the left leg say to the right leg? Dont talk to the middle leg he is a dick."

"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"

"If she likes old school hip-hop, she probably wants the D12."

"What did the gay horse say to the straight horse? Heeeeeeyyyyyy"

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."

"ME: If home is where the heart is, I guess I live under a canopy of bloody bones. DMV WORKER: I'm not putting that on your license."

"Ever had Ethiopian food? ...neither have they."

"Jeb Bush should come out as being gay to get the Jewish vote. Jews have a strong record of listening to flaming bushes."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa."