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Joke of the Day

"Why are librarians so shy? Their occupation makes them very shelf conscious."

"*runs into coworker at store* *pretends I don't speak English*"

"I'm so high, I just tried to Google ""My favorite songs""."

"Angel: ""I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."" God (clearly upset about something else): ""NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."""

"The three rules about procrastination. 1. 2."

"Why are the twin towers and genders so similar? Because there used to be 2 of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now."

"I got a 2nd job..It's not official..I dress like a host at T.G.I.Fridays, then I pick up credit cards & say ""Be right back""..I don't go back"

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"My cousin writes a lot of dark, emo poetry His parents say not to worry, though - he's just going through a phrase."

"I am sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist !"