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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the blonde with tire marks on her back? She crawled across the street when the sign said ""DON'T WALK""."

"Our culture is like a fungus. It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you."

"I made up a joke about the 4th dimension It's about time."

"Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance? Because it was a moth ball."

"If you want to know what rich people do, just follow me. I know where they live..."

"I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights."

"I just apologized for sending someone a text using shouty font because I couldn't remember the term ""all caps""."

"The Foo Fighters did a really good job, because I haven't had to deal with any Foo in years."

"What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished."

"If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it."