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Joke of the Day

"[mall] Me: That guy looks SO familiar! Wife: ... M: Maybe an actor? Musician? W: ... M: I'll get an autograph! W: He's our mailman, moron."

"Before this goes any further, it's important that I know your position on foreign films with subtitles."

"I work at a restaurant and one of the chefs there is both dyslexic and epileptic. Ended up sending out a chicken seizure salad."

"My wife went on a lot of roller coasters when she was pregnant with our daughter Katelyn, and you can tell :("

"What's so cool about taking a picture of a bathroom mirror?"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had garbanzo bean on my face."

"What came first, the Chicken or the Egg? That depends on which one you had for starters"

"How many honest politicians does it take to change a lightbulb? All three of them."

"What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and a 6 year old pretending to be a T-Rex? The 6 year old never killed anyone with a car"

"In support of France, Canada opens new French province called ""Quebec."""