19273

Joke of the Day

"The sound of thunder is no longer Thor's hammer. It's a pissed-off Lady-Thor stomping round Asgard and noisily filling the dishwasher while she waits for someone to ask her what's wrong..."

Next Joke
 
"If zombies attack I'm heading south, most of those people don't have teeth."
"Prom tip: DON'T HAVE A BABY"
"Father, pardon, excuse, exonerate, absolve, acquit, forgive me, for I have synonymed."
"I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever!"
"how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay."
"Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death."
"[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?"
"What is 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy when they see it? An empty toilet paper roll."
"I'm not Racist! I have a colour TV."