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Joke of the Day

"What word in the dictionary is always spelled wrong? Wrong."

"People are saying that sperm has terrific anti-wrinkle properties. But if that were true, with the amount of wanking I do, my bed would probably make itself."

"I bought ones of those cds that teach you Spanish in your sleep. Sometime in the night it started skipping, now I can only stutter in Spanish."

"I don't understand why everyone is getting so worked up about there being more than 2 genders... There's always been 3 anyways: male, female and wheelchair."

"What do a plumber and a walrus have in common? They both like a good, tight seal."

"Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it ""MY way"" you'd have added alcohol to your menu."

"I NEED JOKES ABOUT TREES Don't ask questions, I just really need non-offensive tree jokes and fast! Thank you for your help!!!"

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"What's the difference between your girlfriend's yeast infection and the brand of peanut butter your Mom used? The peanut butter was easier to get off the roof of your mouth ..."