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Joke of the Day
"Pick a card, any card. No, not that one. Not that one, either."
Next Joke
"What's the best way to get a Punjab in India? Hire a cunning linguist."
"How do you make your dick look bigger? Take a picture of it in a 5 year old's hand"
"I must be looking extra good today because this dude with a backpack on the side of the road was giving me the big thumbs up. Thanks man!"
"I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy."
"My pal is 6 ft 5, and his wife of ten years is only 3ft 10. After a decade of marriage he's still nuts over her."
"The ""Personal life"" section of my Wikipedia article is actually pretty accurate. It's non-existent."
"If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it... Does a hipster buy its album?"
"Chuck Norris' chest hair has chest hair."
"Why are 9/11 victims the best readers? They can go through 94 stories in seconds!"