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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a snooker table laugh? Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls."
Next Joke
"I speak both universal languages: 1. English 2. Louder & slower English"
"*toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?"
"What is the favourite meal of pakistani taliban members? Tikka Malala"
"Costume Ideas For Halloween, you should dress up as Pavlov. Not everyone will get it, but it should ring a bell."
"When someone tells me they're sick I try to make them feel better with a story about my own sickness that was much worse and many years ago."
"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""
"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."
"It's a good thing Harambe got shot.... Dicks out for dead kids just doesn't sound good"
"Why was 56 scared? Because 28 8 1."