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Joke of the Day

"2 in 3 people live next to a pedophile I don't, I live next door to two smoking hot 8 year olds."

"Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot."

"My uncle was a weird man...Artificial Legs.... Real feet"

"I found out my girlfriend is really into buoyancy. I said ""Whatever floats your boat."""

"I just read John F Kennedy's biography The end was mind blowing"

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never put the punchline in the title?"

"Why do giraffes have a great love life? Because they keep a good distance between their brains and their heart."

"What do you call a Hillary supporter? A journalist."

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders."

"I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler ""WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"""