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Joke of the Day

"I called work and told them I have Anal Glaucoma... Just couldn't see my ass coming in today."

"How do you make holy water? You take ordinary tap water and boil the hell out of it."

"The priest and the rabbi So, a priest and a rabbi are talking. The priest says:"" I recently fucked a little boy."" The rabbi responds:"" Out of what?"""

"What would LMFAO's hit song be called if they were Russian? ""I'm Slavic and I know it"""

"There were tons of reddit admins responsible for today's commotion. But not many of them."

"What would I be if I were twice myself? a meme."

"How many Redditors does it take to tell a joke? Two. One to think of it, and another to repost it a day later."

"NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE Waiter: ahem *points to sign* Me: oh that's fine, I'm not ordering anything"

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear."

"The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later."