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Joke of the Day

"What did the child with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet."

"if you walk up to a british policeman and play the benny hill music he legally has to chase you until you turn it off"

"I was playing snooker with Jacqueline. I looked at her and said, ""Where's your cue?"" She said, ""It's after the C."""

"Drugs are great until they fall into the wrong hands. I am referring, of course, to the cops or people who don't enjoy life."

"What's the difference between 'your mum' and 'knock knock' jokes? A door doesn't let you come inside."

"How much did the pirate charge for corn? He sold them for a buccaneer."

"I put the 'extra vag' in extravaganza"

"*sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, ""Awe""* *face melts* *responds, ""We've been over this already, it's ""Aww""* *deletes your number*"

"What are those small bumps around women's nipples? It's Braille for ""Suck Here"""

"What do you call a nut that eats other nuts? A pecan-nibal! Made this up at work while hungry."