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Joke of the Day

"I don't have ""safe sex"" ... ... because I have never been turned on by anything with a combination lock."

"Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone."

"What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life? ""May my thoughts be with them""."

"Scott Summers (X-Men) is dead.. ...by watching his navel. (I don't know if this joke works in English)"

"A woman went to a doctor a breast operation, he offered to numb her breasts And he used Novocaine You perverted fucks"

"Why does Bigfoot have a nice butt Because he does sassquats"

"If a single stick is called a ""fag"", and a bundle of ""fags"" is called a ""faggot"", then what do you call a group of ""faggots""? A ""subreddit"""

"What does an eighty year old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty year old woman doesn't? A belly button."

"What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes."

"How much do pirates pay for piercings? A buccaneer!"