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Joke of the Day

"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."

"What do you called being pepper sprayed at UC Davis? Occupational hazard."

"What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story, and a Catholic priest? One goes limp when a child walks in the room."

"What's three feet long and keeps a twat warm? Donald Trump's scarf."

"911 Worker > 911,What's your emergency? Man > My wife is going to give birth! Worker > Is this her first born? Man > No,it's her husband *Ba Dum Tss*"

"What do you find in an empty nose? Fingerprints."

"Two candles wanted to get high... They lit up and got low instead. Happy 4/20!"

"A man asked Robin Hood, ""would you rob from the rich to give to the poor?"" To which he replied, ""I Sher-would."""

"When the devil loses hair There will be hell toupee"

"Apple is working on an electronic seeing device for the Navy It's going to be called the I-Eye Captain"