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Joke of the Day

"Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone's status post."

"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking JK Rowling"

"Did you hear about the guy with a fetish for public transportation? He got off at every stop."

"I got robbed last night The burglar replaced everything with an exact replica"

"I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting"

"What is the difference between a dollar and Lebron James? Lebron James doesnt give you 4 quarters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34"

"What do you call coffee for jews? Hebrew."

"I wish that my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply"

"How do witches lose weight? They join weight witches."