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Joke of the Day

"""So what kind of cancer can you tolerate the most?"" -Me on which President Candidate you're going to vote"

"How many ""suh dudes"" does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. It's already lit fam."

"A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight."

"It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans."

"Failed my biology test today They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands? Canta Plaus. Source: https://youtu.be/44aiB0vB36Y"

"What do you call a blind member of the Third Reich? A ""notsee"" because they cannot see! I'll see myself out..."

"thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried..."

"What makes a glow worm glow ? A light meal !"

"I recently opened a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats Prophets are going through the roof"