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Joke of the Day

"The cemetery by my house is soo popular... ...people are dying to get in."

"I'm Scottish and my son is marrying a Jewish girl. I'm afraid their kids will leave me penniless."

"Coworker: I don't even know what's wrong with me. *sighs Me: Oo Oooo pick me pick me I know *raises hand with answer"

"Investigators say the Germanwings copilot suffered from manic depression. One minute he was up, then he was down."

"Some people are like Slinkies... They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."

"Wondering why ""cuck"" has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards? They finally found an insult that can never be used against them."

"[1st date] ""I'm really into roll playing,"" I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss."

"Nothing is more intimidating to me than someone who genuinely enjoys the outdoors."

"You are so sweet... ...is your zodiac sign caries?"