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Joke of the Day

"What do a porn star and an IT security analyst have in common? Both do penetration testing."

"Any fountain can be a Fountain of Youth if filled with champagne and you've had 5 glasses."

"Going to youtube with your VPN set to Germany on :/"

"Guide to DIY: 1. Double the cost estimate. 2. Double the time it should take. 3. Live with it for 3 months 4. Hire someone to fix it."

"I told my mate that my newborn baby's stomach was the size of a walnut. . . . ""Just feed him a walnut then."""

"I used to go out with a girl who was obsessed with graphs... she was always plotting behind my back"

"If kids get their mouths washed out with soap for saying naughty words are we supposed to wash their hands for typing them?"

"What mouse was a Roman emperor ? Julius Cheeser !"

"I grew up to some pretty merciless parents... ""Daddy, daddy, I think I have constipation!"" ""Well, tough shit, son."""

"I made a chicken salad today... The bastard didn't even eat it."