192038

Joke of the Day

"When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day"

"Ants Dancing ? Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""

"A guy buys some condoms... A guy is buying a box of condoms at the store. After paying the clerk, the clerk asks him ""Do you want a paper bag with that?"" He replies, ""Nah, she's not that ugly."""

"How many dicks does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one but he will be a real asshole about it."

"Where does honey come from? Beez nuts!"

"If you're walking down the street and see a teenager, don't panic; just yell ""One Direction selfie twerk"" and slip away in the confusion."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone"

"Imagine having cocks for hands and then being in business type situations where you have to shake hands. How embarrassing."

"How many performance artists does it take to change a lightbulb? I don't know, I left early."