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Joke of the Day

"The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO. While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together."

"My friend is getting on in years but still wants to stay hip with new technology. I call him Instagrampa."

"What do you call kids born in whorehouses? brothel sprouts!"

"I used to do drugs... i still do, but i also used to."

"Why was the cookie crying? Because it's mom was a wafer so long."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? If the sex stays the same but the dishes pile up."

"What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs."

"I just saw a guy with the Monster energy logo tattooed on his neck, so if your village is missing their idiot, we have him."

"How did Jesus stay in such good shape? Cross fit."

"My poop very recently stopped being imaginary. Shit just got real."