191943

Joke of the Day

"Turns out Chlamydia is much easier to get than it is to spell."

"What did the Seattle-based baker say to her apprentice? Someday you will bake like I bake."

"Anyone you can do, I can do better.."

"if someone asks you about yourself say ""OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story"" then just wander off"

"Oxygen went on a date with potassium. It went OK."

"If someone says ""Someone in this room has a bomb,"" I can't rule myself out as a suspect. - Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note7"

"Your life may be an open book, but could you skip to the good parts."

"99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code Take one down, patch it around, 116 bugs in the code!"

"What do you call a cow with no sense of humor? Moody."

"I want to open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant And call it ""Tapas the Mornin' to Ja."" RIP Harris Wittels."