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Joke of the Day
"Your life may be an open book, but could you skip to the good parts."
Next Joke
"I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes... As soon as I finish this drink I'm punching someone"
"Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food."
"Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine? Because of his retractable clause."
"Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him ""Elvis the pelvis""? Because he had a brother named Enos."
"If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision."
"Daughter just told me my hair looks good. The request for a ride will be coming in less than 10 minutes."
"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? because it was stuck in a crack"
"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, Awesome, now we're both barking"
"What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner? ""I ain't no chive, Turkey."""