191940

Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between time and ronaldo? time passes"

"How does a space class start a party? They planet!"

"My mom laughed at me when I told her I was making a car out of spaghetti... you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"The NSA Agent Why couldn't the NSA agent leave the Russian airport? Because he got Snowden!"

"What do you call a guy who wants to join the mile high club by himself? A high-jacker."

"I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common."

"How do you know which pepper in the garden is the nosiest? ... it's the one that's jalapeno business!!!"

"I'm at the vets..... A man opposite me weeps with an empty cage in his arms. I'd be crying too if I were that forgetful."

"I wear dresses to work so it takes me less time to use the loo so people won't think I'm pooping. So yeah, I'd say I'm pretty professional."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U & I and your hot friend Amber together."