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Joke of the Day

"Congratulations, outspoken atheists! You've made not having a religion into your religion!"

"Books vs. Mexicans Q: What do books have that Mexicans don't? A: Papers."

"Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like? It was very unOregonized."

"Netflix just asked me ""Are you really going to eat that too?"""

"""Can I touch it?"" A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"" He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""

"Monsters won't stop chasing me. I don't wanna play today dammit!"

"[Therapist appt.] Hub: She doesn't have her priorities straight. *Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* ""That's not true"""

"What's the hardest part about keeping a 12 year old girl in your basement? Finding a new one next year."

"A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?' Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'"

"If there's Jenny and Lucy, could there be Jenni and Luci? Then wouldn't that make them Jennifer and Lucifer?"