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Joke of the Day

"When Oasis broke up, my girlfriend was so upset. I told her to stop crying her heart out."

"Why I don't like gays staring at me Their gaze!"

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -1 Imaginary"

"A terminally ill man asked his doctor how much longer he had to live. The doctor responded, ""Ten."" ""What do you mean, ten? Ten years? Ten months? Ten-"" ""Nine... Eight..."""

"OK, guy with the two kayaks and two bikes strapped to his Subaru Outback: settle down. Save some outdoors for the rest of us."

"5 Strategies to stop arguing whit your Women 1. Admit she is right 2. Admit she is right 3. admit she is right 4. admit she is right 5. run for your life"

"I have a test on Islam next period in my World Cultures class... I'm gonna bomb it."

"I met a farmer who genetically altered a chicken to have six legs so his kids didn't fight over the drumsticks. I asked him how it tasted. He said he didn't know. He couldn't catch it."

"Parenting a baby is like an etch-a-sketch drawing. You must be careful, but if you mess up just shake the shit out of it and make a new one."

"You are so tall in my eyes that they can't rise higher than your waist."