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Joke of the Day

"I have a test on Islam next period in my World Cultures class... I'm gonna bomb it."

"Forget everything you learned in college... ...You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.' 'Well then, I'm sorry. You are under qualified to work here.'"""

"Friday night is Fred Flintstone sliding down the dinosaur's back."

"What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!"

"I want to be so talented and attractive that people are blown away that I'm nice."

"I'd rather watch a four hour montage of old Russian men eating soup than have a toddler throw a tantrum in a Target."

"What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."

"Why can't Jesus play Football? He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal"

"People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?"

"What man can make three meals and snacks out of one fish all day? I call bullshit!"