191867

Joke of the Day

"I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems."

"What's the difference.... Between eating pussy and driving in the fog? When you're driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you"

"How did the blind man pass the eye exam? He just kept walking"

"My sister said she thought it would be cool to be a meme. I told her to run for president."

"I had diarrhea and had some jalapeno sauce That came out badly"

"I asked Santa for a Frisbee when I was a kid.... But I was an only child, so he gave me a boomerang."

"I fell in love with a cannibal And then she stole my heart"

"What you're feeling, Republicans, is the ghost of Ted Kennedy's nuts on your chin."

"""Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..."" [God appears from behind dumpster] ""I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"""

"""The New York Times"" isn't the punchline... but... http://www.politico.com/blogs/media/2015/01/correction-of-the-day-200768.html?ml=tl_4"