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Joke of the Day

"I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ankansas ! Ankansas who ? Ankansas though any piece of wood !"

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"Caught out in the wilderness without any toilet paper? Just take a leaf out of Bear Gryll's book... Edit: Spelling"

"71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead."

"How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair? A brazillion!"

"A man was found dead eight years after committing suicide Sort of proves his point, doesn't it?"

"I'm telling you to go to hell because I'm poor. If I was rich I would kill you."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"There's a banana and a vibrator on a table... The banana turns to the vibrator and asks: ""Hey, why are you trembling? It's not *you* they're going to eat!"""