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Joke of the Day

"How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair? A brazillion!"

"My new year celebration is Masturbating Couple's are enjoying their new year eve, friends are watching movies and I'm here still doing masturbating. Fuck yeah"

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"""Let's walk over there"" ""ok"" -couple a cows"

"What would you do if a kid in your class jumped out of set and took of his shirt, then ran out of the class and hoped onto a segway."

"What's similar between a 9v battery and an asshole? Your tongue ends up on it even though you know it's wrong."

"There's plenty of deeply disturbed fish in the sea."

"Beer has female hormones Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can't drive a car."

"I'm so happy I'm not as cool as you. Because then I'd be a huge fucking asshole."

"Me: We don't have any more Girl Scout cookies and now I'm sad. Wife: I get sad, too. Like when I think about being married to a 40yo baby"