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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee how I like my women Without someone else's dick in it."
Next Joke
"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."
"Damn I hate this time of year I just get so damn Claustrophobic"
"hey tomorrow you could be hit in the head by a block of cheese so frickin live ur life today before you have to wear ice on ur head tomorrow"
"Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat."
"when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something"
"Online shopping. My wife was complaining that i shop too much online and that i had to send some shit back where it came from. So i have sent her back to Thailand."
"Have you ever stroked a parrot? I bet you've stroked a cockatoo..."
"Mime Ninja Silent, But Deadly."
"I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting"