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Joke of the Day

"hey tomorrow you could be hit in the head by a block of cheese so frickin live ur life today before you have to wear ice on ur head tomorrow"

"*Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack."

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!"

"Serial Killer What Do You call a man that breaks into a neighbor's house to stab Cereal boxes? A Cereal Killer!"

"First cannibal: Am I late for dinner? Second cannibal: Yes. Everyone's eaten."

"3 guys walk into a bar.... and the fourth guy ducks!"

"What are a mathematician's five favourite numbers? 0, 1, e, pi."

"Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys."

"The 4th little pig built his house into a windmill. The wolf huffed and puffed and generated enough power to last the whole winter."

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Convincing their family to consent to it!"