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Joke of the Day

"Just read ""four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking"" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter."

"When I was twelve, I jammed a tile from a Scrabble set into a Nerf gun and shot my brother in the forehead, killing him instantly. It was an accident though, I thought it was a ""blank""."

"I couldn't figure out why the baseball was getting bigger... then it hit me!"

"So I'm holding the door for this Japanese guy... He looks over to me and says ""Sank you!"" Can't believe he just brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream got shot."

"If 9/10 people suffer from herpes.... Does that mean, the last one enjoys it?"

"I'm getting tired of having to write ""Sent from my iPhone"" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone."

"When life gives you melons You might be a woman"

"When life gives you lemons... Just be glad it's not AIDS"

"My buddy says he is the world's worst at self-deprecating humor. he worried once he was too modest. Then realized he was wrong."