197973

Joke of the Day

"I'm getting tired of having to write ""Sent from my iPhone"" at the end of all my e-mails. Maybe I should just get an iPhone."

"Why aren't the Italians afraid of the biscuit? Because it ain't nothing butter biscuit!!!"

"Playing video games cost me my life. Luckily, I've almost collected 100,000 Space Eggs from the Planet Zogg so I'll get another one."

"The revolution will not be televised. It will be streaming on netflix this summer"

"The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey"

"Driving Wizard A wizard is driving down the highway, a man try's to merge into his lane in front of him. The wizard speeds up and yells out the window, ""You shall not pass!"""

"Right before Abe Lincoln was shot Mary Todd Lincoln: See honey, I told you it wouldn't kill you to take me out sometime."

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"

"First date *dont let him know you been stalking him Him- so my brother just got deployed Me: Josh or Brian?"