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Joke of the Day

"""Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?"" ""Can't. Scared."" ""Of the water?"" ""No. Palindromes."""

"Trump says he wants to move into the White House... ...why not? Wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family from their house Edit: Credit to Snoop Dogg"

"How do you stop rape in West Virginia? kill all the sheep"

"Just saw an elderly Asian couple buying tortillas so racism is over"

"What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf."

"RIP to that hoodie you left at your ex-gf's house. She says she has no idea what youre talkin about but she knows. Wheres my hoodie, Denise?"

"I tried to make a movement supporting lossy music compression... but I got a lot of FLAC."

"How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice? They use extractor fangs."

"Best part of election night is seeing how fast states tabulate votes and judging the slow ones. What's up, Sloth Carolina?!"

"The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, ""Oooh, that breeze feels nice."""