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Joke of the Day
"If you punched a random Brit today... There would be a 52% chance they deserved it."
Next Joke
"A hamburger walks into a bar (don't know if repost) And the bartender says ""sorry but we don't serve food here""!"
"Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why."
"What did the sign say at a strip club Business doing pleasure for you"
"Look girl, all I'm saying is , if I have to choose between you and chocolate milk Be prepared to cry"
"[at club] DO YOU WANT TO DO A HUMAN SACRIFICE ""WHAT?"" [does stabbing and offering motion] A SACRIFICE, DO YOU WANT TO DO ONE"
"Good friends are like bottles of sweet wine .. that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar."
"For my birthday my friends got me a sweater. I would have preferred a screamer or moaner, but a sweater was fine."
"What do you call it when you go to the store just to use their dumbbells and then leave? Shoplifting"
"What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments? Luters."