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Joke of the Day

"[at club] DO YOU WANT TO DO A HUMAN SACRIFICE ""WHAT?"" [does stabbing and offering motion] A SACRIFICE, DO YOU WANT TO DO ONE"

"What happens if you fart in church You have to sit in your own pew"

"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."

"Try this one crazy trick to get people to click on things! See. It worked."

"A chinese kid called his mom a horse She said don't use that tone with me"

"Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro's grave.. Must be a communist plot."

"I wanted to set my password as madeline But apparently that's taken."

"What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* ""damn"" and a skydiver goes ""damn"" *whack*."

"I told my mom that the CIA was going to keep Osama Bin Laden's porn collection away from the public. She said, ""Who cares? It's probably just full of camels, anyway."""

"What do you do when a bird shits on your windshield? Don't take her on a second date."