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Joke of the Day

"Customer: This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month. Waiter: That's funny. It's from the same fish."

"How did Kurt Cobain die? With a Cobang"

"McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer."

"I am being so rude. Apologies. Google, is there anything you want to ask me?"

"A guy ate part of his own arm while tripping on acid. After he found out what he'd done, he shit himself."

"A month before my grandfather died we decided to cover his back in lard. After that he went downhill very quickly."

"How does Moses make tea? He brews it."

"Her: Where ya been? Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead? Me: Yeah. All of them."

"What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies? I don't know; they were speaking Spanish."

"Roughly 60% of my childhood was spent trying to do the crane kick after watching Karate Kid."