191394

Joke of the Day

"I'm fresh out of hopes and dreams. Can I interest you in despair and disappointments?"

"Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it."

"Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses."

"did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic!"

"I was going to tell a suicide bomber joke, but I feel that it would just blow up in my face."

"Just saw the hottest DILF! (it was glazed)"

"Going to mass is basically just like a dog being trained A guy tells you to sit and stand and sit and stand, and at the end they give you a snack"

"Matthew 11, Luke 9 and John 12... ...are just three of the boys Father O'Reilly has to stay at least 50 yards from."

"When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote."

"What's grey and comes in buckets? An elephant!"