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Joke of the Day

"*middle of an argument* Me-There are so many great things to do with a human mouth... ...why waste it on talking. Friend- like what? Me- Motor boating "

"DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is."

"""The book was way better"" - hobo trying to burn a DVD for warmth"

"A car made of French bread just raced past me. It was a Baguetti Veyron."

"What race is the author of Charlotte's Web? E B White"

"My wife and I decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring one."

"What do you call a white man in a ghetto? An ambulance."

"""I felt a hair in my mouth but I pulled out a strand of colorful scarves. I knew then."" -David Copperfield's unauthorized bio I'm writing"

"I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago."

"Why did Tigger get stuck in the toilet? He was looking for pooh."