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Joke of the Day
"*Whispers in random chicks ear ""I have pizza in the van"""
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"Spell Xenophobia H-A-N-S-O-N"
"A hamstring is really just Lady Gaga's lingerie."
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack."
"EXPLORER 1: *looking at ancient symbols in pyramid* It says ""Here lies updog"" EXPLORER 2: What's updog? EGYPTIAN SPIRITS: Lol"
"I send thank you cards to people that don't invite me to their weddings"
"Man, my 84-year-old neighbor must REALLY like working on his car. He's been under there changing the oil for 3 days."
"Why is Iran called Iran? Because when I saw the bombs, I*ran*"
"If I was hanging off a cliff for my life and you told me to take your hand I would stop screaming to tell you I'm afraid of intimacy"
"My mom let the street raise me, which is why the only things I'm really good at are letters, numbers, and talking like Cookie Monster."