191201

Joke of the Day

"Someone told me that women live to be woken up with oral sex... ... but when I tried it my wife woke up and said ""WTF get that thing out of my mouth!!"""

"Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated."

"A boy was sent home from school for saying the C-word His mum said to the kid: 'that wasn't clever was it?' &nbsp; The boy replied 'no, it was cunt'"

"People who write hai and bai, wai?"

"*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean"

"I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them. Nails always come in handy."

"What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus? ""You've got a lot of potential, son."""

"Yesterday I tried to catch the fog... Mist."

"Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ? About an hour and a half after I arrived at school"

"*walks into hospital carrying baby* ""What's your return policy on this thing?"""