191201

Joke of the Day

"Someone told me that women live to be woken up with oral sex... ... but when I tried it my wife woke up and said ""WTF get that thing out of my mouth!!"""

"A neutrino walks through a bar."

"If it wasn't for the internet, I would think ""12 Years A Slave"" was a movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but God knows how they got in there."

"What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse? Mascarpone!"

"I went for a job at NASA yesterday. Everything was going well until they asked me what my ambitions were. I replied, ""The sky's the limit!"" and they told me to fuck off!"

"According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse."

"Do her by the ocean. Beaches love crabs."

"Two blonde girls... ...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home."

"What's the best thing to put into a pizza? Your teeth."