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Joke of the Day

"A boy was sent home from school for saying the C-word His mum said to the kid: 'that wasn't clever was it?'   The boy replied 'no, it was cunt'"

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"We the People ~~We the People~~ We the electoral college"
"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He keeps getting nailed to the boards."
"What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? [X-post from /r/SacrilegiousHumor] Church"
"My printer has a drug problem And it just can't stop!"
"On our third date, my girlfriend told me that she was bisexual. I broke it off with her because I definitely need sex more than every two weeks."
"Why is it best to wear leather when sneaking around? It's made of hide"
"People consider me as God Santa : People consider me as a ""GOD"". Banta : How do you know?? Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,""Oh GOD ! U have came again""."
"I was addicted to hokey pokey But then I turned myself around"
"My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants"