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Joke of the Day

"barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question"

"Traveling through Italy I spent hundreds of Euros on pasta. (Pun) It was worth every Penne."

"In order to make a Caesar salad, fill a bowl with regular salad... ... Then stab the fucker."

"Donald Trump and I agree on one thing. We both would like to bang his daughter."

"How do you know if Buzzfeed article is stolen? You get the feeling that you've Reddit before."

"Finally, track and field. Where the men are men and the women are too..."

"your dirty mind "" Give it to me"" she yelled, ""i am so fucking wet, give it to me now"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"A man was found dead in an ice cream van covered in nuts and sprinkles Police say he topped himself"

"Florida is great, if you make a wrong turn you're at the beach."

"I think my cat is a communist. He keeps saying ""Mao"""