190986

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need...A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need."

"What's the difference between prostitutes and onions? I cry when I cut onions"

"If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."

"How can you spot the prostitute at the Miss America pageant? She's wearing a sash that says Idaho."

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. Kinda like crying, screaming, or dying."

"I, for one, completely agree with Hitler's plan... ...to kill himself. ____________________________________ Besides, if it wasn't for Hitler, who else would we compare our enemies to?"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tits a lot"

"Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep."

"Did you hear about the cook who stole parsley from his restaurant? They had to [garnish](http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/garnish) his wages."

"If the world was a giant sweater, where would all the black people live In the hood"