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Joke of the Day

"If you have to do more than 3 takes when taking a picture of yourself, it's not the angle or the lighting. It's you. You're ugly."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"How do Southerners get through customs so quickly? They do declare!"

"Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory!"

"Others change, but you should be yourself! said one corn to another in the digestive tract"

"There are three types of people in the world. Those that are good at math and those that are not."

"What hired killer never goes to jail? The exterminator."

"Some advice to you lovers out there... They may say you cantaloupe, but honeydew it anyways."

"Why don't the French have fireworks on Bastille day? because they would all surrender."

"How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it. Ha."