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Joke of the Day

"How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it. Ha."

"What brown, steams, and can be found under a piano stool? Beethoven's last movement."

"[text] I'm very hungry but I'm sick and tired of the food at my work! ;( Maybe I'll try bringing lunch from home?!"

"Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter? Because he doesn't like being followed."

"Rick Astley Will give you any movie in his Pixar collection except his favorite. He's Never Gonna Give You Up."

"ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said ""satin."""

"holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?"

"Yo momma is like cheap laundry detergent Not as soft, doesn't smell as good, but gets way more loads"

"So two condoms walk into a bar.. .. They quickly realize that it is a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and says, ""Dude. We are gonna get shitfaced tonight!"""

"The best thing about UDP jokes ...is that I don't care if you get them or not"