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Joke of the Day

"Others change, but you should be yourself! said one corn to another in the digestive tract"

"Do you know that the Coast Guard requires that you be at least six feet tall? So that if your ship sinks, you can walk back to shore!"

"Why was Kunta Kinte such a renowned philosopher? He pondered the question ""Toby, or not Toby?"""

"Why did the Japanese guy get mad and kick the mushroom? He was sick of all its shiitake."

"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."

"You ever notice when it comes to blow up dolls... They're always so surprised to see us"

"To do: 1. Read one book. 2. Ask someone if they've read that book. 3. Act incredulous when they say no."

"Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary."

"(I heard this one a while back, sorry) Why can't you use a the restroom at a Beatles reunion concert? Because there is no John."

"""Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations."" -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving"