190933

Joke of the Day

"How do dating sites in Alabama save money? They link to Ancestry.com"

"My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry."

"My girlfriend stormed off after she accused me of cheating and I denied it. But no, I really wasn't fucking anyone named Sirius."

"What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck"

"I like my cars how I like my women Asian and dirty."

"THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don't look at me, my shirt is off."

"One thing that Sean Connery asked his wife only once and never again. To sit on his face."

"Studies show that woman are better drivers. Sike!"

"So there was this guy who flew so close to the sun he was able to touch it in exactly one spot... ...after that, he was a real tangent."

"Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend"