107385

Joke of the Day

"In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks."

"What do a pimp and a cowboy have in common? They both know how to throw a ho-down."

"When I was 5, my Uncle Bob asked me to sit on his lap. It was quite touching, really."

"What did Mozart say to the police clerk? ""I'll be Bach"" hahaha. What do you mean they're different people"

"What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns? An *and*chestra."

"What's the Russian President's favorite song? ""Putin on the Ritz!"" I'll be here all week guys."

"My son's favorite toy is the free blood pressure machine at Walgreens."

"On the holidays I got quite drunk and being responsible decided to take a taxi home It's still in my backyard what do you guys think I should do with it?"

"What did the county Sheriff say about the black man who was shot 15 times? ""Worst case of suicide I've ever seen"""

"[Warning: Dad joke] What is a dog's favorite Christmas song? Fleas Navidad"