190705

Joke of the Day

"Humans are like M&M's. They might be in all different colors, but they all taste the same when you eat them."

"I'd say at least 10% of parenting is smelling stuff."

"My life would have been very different had I done anything with the same intensity as brushing my teeth on the day of a dentist appointment."

"What has 3 balls and flies through space E.T the Extra Testicle I know this was awful I'm sorry"

"Sometimes I buy enormous pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight."

"How can you tell if a chemistry joke is shitty? If there isn't a reaction."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two pigs playing in the mud"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick."

"What do you call a balding Native American? A patchy.."

"If by ""social butterfly"" you mean I will take off when you come near me, then yep."