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Joke of the Day

"Where does a snowman put his birthday candles? On his birthday flake!"

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber in"

"What do you call an Indonesian shoe factory that just had air conditioning installed? A sweatstop."

"I like my cigarettes like my Instagram. \#nofilter Edit: learned formatting"

"What did the egg say when it was about to be hard boiled? It's gonna take a while to get me hard, because I just got laid by a chick!"

"I don't get new car smell air fresheners Your '98 Ford Taurus isn't fooling anyone"

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."

"In the future, they won't have pages in the history books for 1990-1999 because only 90s kids remember"

"Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian."

"The coolest part of the bible is where one couple somehow populates the world by having kids from every race and ethnicity."