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Joke of the Day

"I've been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight... The people who live above me are furious."

"My grandpa said ur generation relies too much on technology! I said, "" no your generation relies too much on technology!"" Then... I unplugged his life support"

"Poker? I barely know her!"

"What's the best lake to go motorboating? Lake Titicaca"

"New Years Resolutions: 1. Lose weight 2. Volunteer work 3. Lie about 1 and 2"

"When my wife starts to sing .. I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on."

"Dad jokes are amazing/beautiful/magical things!! People today seem to thing dad jokes are cringe worthy but being a dad i feel i must speak out!! So what arr your best dad jokes?"

"A recent study found that an estimated 25% of Republicans are on medication for mental illness. Why in the hell are we letting the other 75% go untreated???"

"One of those people out there with protected tweets is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes."

"I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down."